OBS 2010
BACK from lvl camp!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@OBS.
Hillary, i ttly miss 4H like alot:D especially the bond that we forged during the trip which made us closer to each other than ever. The friends u had became even closer to u and the friends that u don’t usually talk to became the ones that ure thankful for guiding u through this wonderful experience and journey.
Most importantly, i think my character developed alot. Actually at home i’ve been quite self centred all the time, always being result orientated, sometimes giving myself too much stress and giving my mum a hard time because i willl always pour all my worries to her (sometimes too much), and somehow we do not agree at things and end up having conflicts. ut i love mybrother for being able to help solve our problems that day, i realised that i was the one who did not consider the feelings of other, but just myself. “Learning to accept others, and others will also do the same to u.” I think this shld be the rule i shld abide to and let go most of the time.
During last night’s team sharing, when Natasha and Lester thanked me for the things that i’ve done, i realised that in other’s eyes, I’m a strong willed person who doesn’t give up easily and shld be qute positive and bright, giving others encouragement. And this morning, when Eileen thanked me for pushing her to not give up and reaching the rock climbing and scolding her, haha i don’t rmber doing that lorh! I think it was more encouraging than scolding leh! But then i knew that in other’s perspective I was strong, and determined in ways. I believe that i have always had this trait but inside of me, I do feel like a failure to myself having the burden to keep up with all the positive thinking and stuff. Talked to my mum for like 40 mins on the phone just now when i came back and i was talking to her about all these. Sometimes, i feel weak inside, but i dont show it to others. So i rlly do hope that i can overcome all these and not only be able to continue to provide others with help, words of encouragement during hardships, but also be true to myself in my heart, not showing 2 faces at home and in front of friends:D
HILLARY READY HILLARY PULL!
I will always remember this trust game and the goals i made today before running and jumping to reach for the bell. haha i ALMOST made it twice and at the third try my feet landed on the spreadsheet but i did touch it. I still remembered at the 1st try, i just jumped and tried my best to reach for the bell eventhough i failed. The 2nd try, i also had alot of connfidence. But on the 3rd, I felt weak inside and questioned myself whether i could do it or not since i failed twice. It was failure that pulled me down, so i felt like it was a major setback. That feeling of not being able to do something eventhough u really want to it- sucks.
Goals:
1) I hope i can recover from setbacks quickly, no matter minor or major ones, and lift myself up whenever i fall again.
-I used to have this determination but because throughoout this years, I felt that i had weakened because i could not lift up to my expectations and there were others always better than me, so i became more paranoid, less confident and question my own abilities all the time. But actually, I just have to tell myself that. “I can do it”. stoped letting negative things run through my mind and just show myself, my skills, my abilities.
- I’ve got to start afresh and pull myself up when i fall
2) Have more confidence in public speaking
- Thorughout this OBS journey, we had opportunities of leadership roles and there was always plenty of time spent on sharing our ideas opinions and reflections, so everybody was giving a chance to voice their thoughts.
-I think this rlly gave me the chanace to speaking up whats on my mind in front of people, i shld totally work on that in the future and improve my vocabulary, not stuttering too much when i speak
3) Rsponsibilty
-I’ve totally been lacking this nowadays. For god’s sake, I’m almost gonna be 16. and i’ve always been relying on others to do stuff instead o doing it myself. SOmetimes, i put the lame on others, not knowing that I’m the one at fault. And then i’ve been quite rude nowadys to my parents, especially mummy who always cared for me and now even Daddy whom i’m been afraid of when i was young because he had strict disciplines and is a as stubborn-minded as a mule. Maybe thats why i’m like this, a chip of the old block! haha. Plus i think now’s kinda my rebellious stage in life. SO that totally explians all these i guess.
-Being almost 16, going to be and adult soon, and YEAR 5 NEXT YEAR! I better learnt to be more approachable, decisive, self reliant and independant.
-Oh and I shan’t be so vulgar in the future and control my anger, frustrations and bad words slipping out of my mouth. Because all these words, though it means nothing to me but a way to release my internal fury, it might hurt others very badly
4) Forge better friendships, bring in close ties, being more understanding
- 2B was the class i really love because of close friends i made, like yiling and cherv and i rlly miss them to tiny little bits up until now.
- I never rlly knew 3H that well last year because we were always kinda seperated into cliques here and there. I was closed to some of them last year but this year, I’ve changed quite abit and spent less time communicating with class mates. STEP rlly brought me closer to Natasha But for the rest of the class, past friendships i made last year seem to slowly drift apart. Sometimes, I tend to separate from the interest of the class though i’ve tried to mix well with most pple. I think most of them are just slightly more than surface friends and the rest, i barely even have a chance to talk to them.
- But during this 5 days, I’ve grown closer to some guys like Lester, Justin. and know more about Chengkai, Dajin, Ziyang, Yankai, Yong Sheng. And justin marcus chik from Dagama. Well, i’m used to just get suaned in class sometimes, no actually most of the time, because i seldom have stuff to say to them. But now it seems like awkward when i talk to them and there’s more topic of interests among us. Lester bring my kayaking buddy, and talking to him during the land expedition journey for awhile, made me learn a lot from him. I didn’t know he was such an athletic person and jogs so often and even completed like 10km in the school track. Oh and he sleeps with his parents. HAHHA. (okay I didn’t say that, spoilt the serious mood here). Yeh, but his determination inspired me to achieve better results and have aims for myself to accomplish. I learnt not to back out, I learnt that life’s but a continuous journey.
- But I didn’t talk much to Nata this time at camp though, especially during the 3rd day on our land expedition, mainly cos I wanted to stick in front and help to navigate instead. So cause of that I think we drift apart a little and have lesser things to talk about. But I do hope that another STEP gathering can help pull us back tgt. cos I rlly love her as a very gd friend(: Wye inn, Jiahan and xinxin and Eileen, gossiping with uall was fun, and I rllt think you all are friends I can trust with all my hard. HAHA. Eileen u must dream more of me okay! :D For Qiurui, yepp I got closer to her too, and for luorong and Vivian, I got to know them better.
- yea so I shall be more involved with the class so friendships and bonds would be stronger than ever before. And sometimes, one needs a friend where we share secrets, our lives, our hardships and laughter together.
Although all these goals might seem like just words, but I will ensure myself I will make it happen, and be a better person.
When we leave OBS, this is when the journey of life begins.
OH YES and not to forget! After today, I will totally joing ODAC. cos though it maybe a little mundane, but its the process that makes u be a better person.
